I am definitely wide awake so I decided to just go ahead and get up already. I woke up at 4am. It was really hot, and bright daylight is sneaking through the edges of the window shades. It was so hot in Anchorage yesterday, and our room is south facing upstairs so it gets the hottest in the house. Who would have thought that we'd need a fan here. It gets so cold in the winter. I couldn't go back to sleep so I put on my eye mask and one of my hypnobirthing cd's. That usually conks me back out, but it didn't. I actually made it through the whole thing. Still wide awake. And hungry. So I got up and ate a bowl of cereal.
So hypnobirthing is all about relaxing yourself to let your body do it's thing to birth your baby. It's so cool to learn about the natural processes of our body, the cascade of hormones that are perfectly designed for birth. Anyway, it's letting go and trusting that your body and baby innately know exactly what to do. Fear tenses you up, which works against your body, and that is where the pain comes from. So it's also getting rid of that fear. Not to say that birth isn't painful-- but it doesn't have to be like what is portrayed in the media. The hypnobirthing teacher (my CNM I was seeing at the Native hospital at the beginning) gave me the practice CDs a few weeks before class started to start listening to. They walk you through a variety of relaxation exercises, positive birth imagery, and recite positive birth affirmations to prepare the subconscious (ex. "I allow my body to go deep into relaxation and open up quickly" "I welcome each surge and work with it to bring my baby closer to me" "I turn my mind over to my body and my baby as they know exactly what to do" "My body is perfectly made to birth my baby, and my baby is perfectly made for me to birth her"). She also gave me the hypnobirthing book to read that describes all of this. Then we had 3 classes (we missed the 4th because I was out of town last week) where we mostly met other hypnobirthing couples, practiced the techniques, watched videos of hypnobirths, and listened to positive birth experiences. I feel more confident that I can do this without medical intervention.
A fear that has creeped up lately though is that baby will come early, which is the complete opposite of what I've been prepared for. I always thought that first babies are usually late. But everyone I know that I've been pregnant with at the same time had their baby at 37 weeks. I will be in Fairbanks for my cousin Violets wedding and our big Olin family reunion when I am 37 weeks. And EJ can't come with me because he is teaching a 1 credit class that Friday and Saturday, and he's the one that takes care of me-- makes me slow down, otherwise I'll try to keep up with everyone like normal. I've had a couple dreams that baby came already and I wasn't ready. I think maybe that is what has spurred all this energy lately towards getting stuff together. I washed baby clothes and blankets this weekend, and my cloth diapers came in so have been looking around for the right kind of detergent to get those pre-washed and ready to go. But I am trying not to worry, and put all that positive affirmation mumbo jumbo into action..."baby knows the right time to come, I listen to my body and am ready."